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From a Mother's Heart

8/27/2014

108 Comments

 
And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul -Genesis 2:7

God breathed into Adam's nostrils the breath of life. 
It wasn't until Monday evening that I realized what a simple, yet powerful act this was. The breath of life- something only God himself can give.

There are certain things you will never be prepared to handle until they happen.

Writing this letter is one of those things.

You will never be prepared for complications to happen suddenly when there were never "meant" to be any.
You will never be prepared for the long wait in a delivery room as no one tells you what is happening, and you seem to be watching every one walk by in a hurry, knowing they are bringing all these medical tools to take care of the son you've just delivered.
You will never be prepared to watch as your child struggles to live.
You will never be prepared to lose him through death.
You will never be prepared for the heartbreak that follows seeing your spouse sobbing uncontrollably into your arms.
You will never be prepared to see that minuscule casket containing the body of the little one you've already given so much of your heart and love to, be placed into the ground and buried.
You will never be prepared for the ride back home- empty handed and hurting, physically and emotionally.
You will never be prepared to look at and unpack that unused hospital bag, the dresser full of beautiful baby clothing, the crib, the nursery decorations, the baby books, shampoos, creams and diapers- and put them away, knowing the child who was meant to use them is already gone.
You will never be prepared for the next up and coming mornings, as you continually face the reality of what has happened.

Yet, through all this, God gives grace. 
He gives complete peace. 
He gives understanding. 
He gives comfort. 
He gives hope for the future. 
He gives joy.
He makes himself known, and keeps His guiding hand visible in your life.

Our precious son, Nathan, was born on August 25th, at 7:55 pm in Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso. He died around 10:00 pm that same evening. The birth could not have gone better- absolutely no complications. There were no problems with him or his organs. He was continually moving and active. He was completely healthy. His birth weight was just right. His heartbeat throughout the pregnancy was perfect, even up until the moment he came out. He had all his fingers and toes, blonde hair and blue eyes.
So what happened? What could possibly have gone wrong?
We do not have an answer to those questions. We never will. The medical doctors were greatly bothered by the lack of their own understanding at the situation. They do not have an answer, and they never will. 
The moment our son was born, he became unconscious. His heart was beating, but he was not breathing. They tried all they could to bring breath into his lungs, but it would never take, and his heart would continually fail because of the lack of oxygen. They were doing all they could in their human efforts to bring the breath of life into this child. No man has the ultimate power to give that breath. Only God can give that first breath which yields sustained life. Only He can perform that miracle in a child. He has full control of the life he created and owns.
You see, Nathan was never ours to keep. God knew the outcome of this situation before we did. It was not a surprise to Him. He knew we would have to face this difficult trial as soon as we arrived to the mission field. He created the beautiful child I was privileged to carry and hold ever so shortly. It was and still is His creation for Him to do with as He wishes. We love our son, but we know we could never love him as much as His creator loves him. It is such a comfort to us to know that he is with his Heavenly Father, and that although he may never join us here on earth again, we will join him one day.
We are not trying to figure out why this happened and we will not try to do so.We do not need to know every reason our creator has for these kind of events to take place in our life. We just need to trust Him. We need to allow Him to work through us in this situation- that it would strengthen our faith, our love for Him, our marriage, and our work in the ministry here in Burkina Faso. We need to keep relying on Him for daily strength. We are not bitter or mad at God- we are simply thankful he chose to give us such a beautiful child to love, even if it was for a very short time. We are thankful for his continually visible guiding hand in our life, even through this situation. We are grateful for other believers who have been a tremendous encouragement to us at this time. We are thankful for the support of our pastor and home church, and for the many prayers being said on our behalf.We are thankful for the missionaries here in Africa who have greatly helped us and encouraged us as we felt completely helpless and lost the last few days. We are thankful and honored to have buried our loving son in the country where we are currently serving the Lord.
We are thankful to have The Lord on our side. We are thankful to have each other as husband and wife to comfort one another. We are thankful for this verse: 
"Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy." 1 Peter 4:12-13

Please keep us in your prayers.
Looking unto Jesus, 
Julie knickerbocker





108 Comments
Jayanthi Anantharaj
8/27/2014 02:56:42 am

We love you, Julie, Stephen & baby Nathan in Heaven now! Your shining testimony for our Lord through this dark trial has touched my heart deeply! The Lord bless, keep & use you both mightily for His glory! Praying!

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pamella turner link
8/27/2014 05:50:12 am

I am sending you this message because the same thing happened to my Grand daughter. She was going to be a single Mom. Everything was okay until she went to the doctor's the day before she was to deliver her baby girl. She was losing the Baby at that exact time. She was in so much pain mentally. We had everything bought for the baby and she was perfect. She said to me Grandma why did this have to happen. The only answer i could give her that god gave her one of his little angel's to have long enough till he could take her back to heaven. We don't know why thing happen the way it does but I truly believe God has a plan for everything that he does. I truly believe that are little children are angels. Some he leaves with us and some he takes back. May God bless you and your husband I will pray for you that the heartache won't last as long as hers has. . It been almost 4years since we lost her. one of her relatives said to her that maybe it was he life style. I guess because she wasn't married. She just made young mistakes. She is now 23 yrs old and has no children. .

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Jessica O'Dell
8/27/2014 03:14:38 am

Im so sorry for the loss of baby Nathan. It is amazing how after such a horrible loss you can FEEL God reaching down and giving you peace and comfort that is beyond our understanding. While I know all too well that your heart is breaking into a million pieces I also know that He will get you through the next days, months, and years and you, Stephen AND Nathan will be an amazing testimony for the Lord. You will be in our prayers.

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Crystal olewine
8/27/2014 03:15:49 am

Praying for you both!

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Robert & Vicky Smith
8/27/2014 03:22:44 am

Dear Julie & Stephen, your testimony about your "trial of faith" is such an encouragement & I know our Lord will use it for His glory in your ministry as you serve Him. Our prayers are with you & we look forward to seeing & hearing more of your work there. God Bless you

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Justin O'Donnell
8/27/2014 03:30:39 am

Love you both, praying for you.

"Let your children be as so many flowers, borrowed from God. If the flowers die or wither, thank God for a summer loan of them." - Samuel Rutherford

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Cheurie Groves
8/27/2014 03:31:20 am

We have never met, but my heart is grieved for you today. I know you are most likely "numb" at this point. However, as I read your blog, I know that God has wrapped you up in His loving arms, and is surrounding you and your husband with His peace. I will pray for you both. I have shared your testimony on my FB page and asked others to pray for you as well. God bless your sweet hearts. May He comfort you with countless souls won for Him, through your willingness to serve. I know He is going to do GREAT things for, and through, you and your husband. (Ps.55:17)

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The Gary Carpenter family
8/27/2014 03:38:11 am

We are so sorry. You will be in our prayers

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Cathy Womble
8/27/2014 03:41:03 am

We are so sorry for your loss. We are praying for you.

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Jean-Claude & Matilde Guilbaud link
8/27/2014 03:48:04 am

Brother Stephen & Sister Julie,
The Lord is good and always good.
We will never understand what God does and He will do.
Little Nathan is with The Lord and one day you will see him, that is the hope we have as God's
Children.
You will be blessed in ways that you cannot
Imagine. Keep trusting, obeying God and continue being faithful!!
We love you.

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John Hauer Sr. Family
8/27/2014 03:51:24 am

We have prayed and will continuing praying for you both. You are a blessing and we know your strength comes from God alone. So thankful for the peace He gives. Love and Prayers.

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Ernest & Darlene Bauserman
8/27/2014 03:53:55 am

So sorry to hear of your loss. We are praying for you. This was such a beautiful letter Julie. Thankful for that blessed hope.

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Mo
8/27/2014 03:54:07 am

The words of your testimony were answer to my prayers...I'm so encouraged to know that you and Stephen are whole heartily giving God glory and trusting in His will for Nathan's life. I love you and will keep you both before the Lird in prayer :).

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Grace Carpenter
8/27/2014 04:13:21 am

Praying for you all during this time.

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Simeon Brazzell link
8/27/2014 04:14:40 am

Praying for you and Stephen! Know that the people of Temple Baptist Church have both heard and responded in prayer for you both! My wife and I were both touched by this and will be praying for you. Thank you for your continual service to the Lord through everything. It's not in vain!

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S. Hesse
8/27/2014 04:18:19 am

I have not met you and yet, my heart breaks for you and your husband reading your post, what a testament to our God. Praying that He covers you in His comfort and mercy. Keep the faith and show others the peace that only the Lord can give and bless you with.

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Talisha
8/27/2014 04:19:24 am

My heart aches to hear this news fellow sister and brother. I am praying for your continued strength and peace from God. Thank you for sharing your heart and your faith during such a difficult time.

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Bill Wingard link
8/27/2014 06:47:51 am

So sorry and praying for you. Thankful for our Lord's promise to never leave us nor forsake us. We love you'll . Pastor & Mrs. Wingard

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Pollie Deeringer
8/27/2014 04:20:04 am

Wow Julie-what a powerful response! This expression of your faith in God is so encouraging-Stephen is a blessed man. I will be sharing this with the Women in World Evangelism girls-perfect example of enduring hardness as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. I can almost hear you saying these words. Love you and still praying for you.

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Ryan and Jessica Combs
8/27/2014 04:20:33 am

We are praying for you and stephen, and will continue to do so. Your testimony and strength in the Lord is an encouragement to us. You guys are a blessing and we love you both. We will be praying for God's continuing strength and wisdom in your life as you serve in Burkina.

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Dan Knickerbocker link
8/27/2014 04:28:32 am

We are thrilled that you have experienced God's grace! We love you and know that His power will be evident in your future because you have placed your lives in His hands! Dan & Anne Marie

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Charles and Debbie Copeland
8/27/2014 04:31:53 am

We have never met bowever we wish to offer you our heartfelt condolences and prayers. It is NEVER easy to lose a child - no matter his age.

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Lori Raney
8/27/2014 04:50:08 am

I too have felt that loss of a beautiful son. I held him in my arms as he passed from this life into the next. I have walked away, empty handed from that burial site and felt the ache in my arms. I pray for God's peace. Even so the knowledge that a husband and wife grieve so differently, Be there for each other and love each other. I am at this point able to look back and see the wonderful working of the hand of God through all my sorrow. If I could change things, I don't think I would.....knowing what I know now. Prayers are said for you both.

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Rebekah
8/27/2014 05:24:24 am

Dear Julie and Stephen, your little Nathan was born on my birthday. We first heard of what had happened through Brandon and Julia, and we prayed. I cannot imagine the full heartache you are going through as I have never been there, but I am a mum and I can feel a tiny fragment of what you are feeling. As a family, we are so terribly sorry for your loss but we thank the Lord that one day you will see your little one again. In the meantime, we pray that the Lord will use you greatly to His glory, and bless your lives as you serve Him; may you be carried through this difficult and sad time, knowing the closeness of His arms around you. We send much Christian love to you both. x

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Chris and Kayla Howell
8/27/2014 05:39:37 am

We've been praying much for you. Thank you for sharing your heart so freely. God is faithful!

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Pastor Paul Gaymon
8/27/2014 05:42:19 am

Please know that our entire church family is praying for you both. We love and appreciate you so much. If there is anything we can do, please let me know and we will do everything we can.... Love you guys

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Tara Lohman
8/27/2014 06:04:50 am

Stephen and Julie-I don't know you personally, just know of you through my daughter Johanna. I prayed for you as I heard you were going to Burkina Faso, and have been praying for you since I heard that Nathan has gone to be with the Lord. My husband and I had to say goodbye for awhile to our first son at his birth, 26 years ago, only a few months after we had left both our families to serve the Lord in another state. No one can know how much pain one little family can feel, and how much love and grace our God can give. Someday your pain will ease and all that will remain is the love--the love you will still have for your boy and the love that God fills your heart with afterward. My whole family is praying for your peace, safety, and comfort as you serve God together.

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Danny A. Whetstone
8/27/2014 06:31:10 am

I am blessed to see the grace of God manifest in your lives. He will be sufficient for your every need, and we will always be here if you need us.

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Lorrie Knickerbocker
8/27/2014 06:39:40 am

Julie…this is so beautiful and such a picture of God's grace in yours & Stephen's lives. We are sorry for your pain and loss, yet grateful to see the grace & peace of God shining in your lives. What a testimony of His grace and what a ministry you have already begun in the hearts of SO many, back here at home in the states AND where God has placed you in Burkina Faso. I pray that the Lord blesses you in a wonderful way through all of this & that you will be able to see the work of the Lord through the life, birth & "home going" of baby Nathan. We love you both & send you our love & hugs, and we will continue to pray for you! Love, Aunt Lorrie & Uncle Andy

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Dad K
8/27/2014 06:42:02 am

What a honor to have you in our lives! God is amazing and you have a worshipful heart in the midst of a great trial. God knoweth the way that you take and he is making a vessel of honor out of you! He truly is touched by the feeling of your infirmities! see you in a few short hours

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Bob and Marilyn Yockey
8/28/2014 12:41:12 am

We are praying for your son and his wife in this most difficult time of loss. Our hearts go out to all of your family as you grieve, yet trust and feel the Lord's peace and sustaining comfort only He can give.

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sabrina mcelyea
8/27/2014 07:06:06 am

since we were informed at Church, we have been praying. I know God will give you comfort. we will continue praying

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Amber Parke
8/27/2014 07:11:58 am

I am very sorry for your loss! May you find peace and comfort in the Lord during this time! You show so much grace in what you have wrote. (((Hugs)))

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Darleen Whetstone
8/27/2014 07:14:43 am

What a testimony of His Grace, you have encouraged our hearts and we will be praying for the two of you as you Look to Him for strength in the days ahead. Thank you for what you have shared with so many.
Love, Brother Danny and Darleen Whetstone

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Pastor Barry Goodman and Ava
8/27/2014 07:40:33 am

Our prayers are with your family. I know you are finding Him faithful. You are an inspiration to us. Isaiah 41:10 has always been a verse to cling to. We love you! Pastor Goodman and Ava

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Laura Cmaylo
8/27/2014 07:41:43 am

Thank you for your testimony. I cannot imagine what you must be going through at this time. I am sincerely praying that God will give you the perfect comfort that He can provide. You are a blessing to so many.

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Matt and Kua Klassen
8/27/2014 08:02:09 am

What a testimony. We will continue to keep you and Stephen in our prayers.

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Benjamin Barlow
8/27/2014 08:22:01 am

Im just a student at Crown on line and got an update from Pastor Sexton. I'll be praying fro yout two and thankyou for sharing your loss. I'll be praying for your ministry as well.

Your brother in Christ

Ben Barlow Erie PAUSA

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Jo Mock
8/27/2014 08:40:06 am

Truly the grace of God is upon you at this time. I know He will continue to give you peace each day as you need it. God bless you and your family. We are praying for you. Thank you for sharing with us how God's grace is there as He promised.

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Anna Hodges link
8/27/2014 08:44:18 am

What a wonderful shining light you are through such a trying time. God has you in His hands. Praying for you.

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Amanda
8/27/2014 08:53:49 am

Praying for you during this time. What an incredible testimony you have written and I know that God will use it to be a testimony of Gods love and grace to many. May the Lord continue to give you peace that passes all understanding.
Amanda
Baptist Tabernacle
Sibley, Louisiana

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George Milgrim and family link
8/27/2014 09:02:37 am

Our family and church family are lifting you all in our prayers daily.... Much love to you both from Amazing Grace Baptist Church... Hanalei, Kauai...

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Doug &Tammie cook
8/27/2014 09:22:58 am

GOD is so good.this is a beautiful letter,showing God's love and care.our son and daughter in law lost their son on the same day; the day before his 7th birthday .Noah will be missed ,but we too trust in our Lord's control of all things.we are praying for you. God bless and keep you

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Sarah Leopper
8/27/2014 09:25:43 am

Julie, what a testimony of the grace of God. Thank you for opening your heart to all of us. We are praying for you and the days that lie ahead.

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Sara Reid
8/27/2014 09:32:05 am

What a testimony, Julie! We are praying for you!

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LAURA
8/27/2014 09:44:25 am

praying God bless you both

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Myra
8/27/2014 10:47:28 am

Praying for you both during this heartache. Thank you for the testimony of God's faithfulness through it all.

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Ruth Burdine
8/27/2014 11:28:00 am

I was so devastated to hear about your loss. Your story is a great comfort to think of how God uses each life to work His purpose on the earth. I know Nathan's life will be unforgettable for you both, but God will use your heartbreak to strengthen your joy in Him. Praying for you!

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Soraia Allen link
8/27/2014 12:05:20 pm

Julie and Stephen, I truly am sorry for your loss. My husband and I know exactly what you are going through, our twin girls, Melissa Sadie and Sabrina Ruby are also in Heaven. All I can say is that we serve an Amazing God! And He is real and always good. Praying for you!
James & Soraia Allen
Missionaries in Brazil

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Mike and Jen
8/27/2014 12:18:13 pm

You both are in our prayers. Ephesus 3:14-21 We love you!

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Michael & Freda Yoo
8/27/2014 12:35:33 pm

We are praying for you during this time of loss. We are thankful for the hope of Heaven and know that we will see Nathan once again. God continually give you strength and grace. Love in Christ, The Yoos

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Because Swain
8/27/2014 12:39:33 pm

Stephen and Julie, our family and our church (Victory Baptist in Sevierville, TN) have been praying for you and will continue to do so. Praise God for His sustaining grace! Much love.
-Becca Swain

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Ed and Sue Hasty
8/27/2014 12:41:06 pm

STEPHEN AND JULIE
We are praying for you both and praise our Lord that he has given you. Such grace and peace as you are going through all this May He continue to guide you as you go on for Him
Love and Prayers

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Susana
8/27/2014 12:46:27 pm

We don't personally know you but have friends who do. We prayed for you all tonight and will continue to do so in NC. Your testimony and love for God has touched my heart.

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Dawn Morrison link
8/27/2014 01:05:21 pm

Thank you for sharing your heart with us all. Your words are full of honesty and hope. I am so thankful that you have the comfort of our Lord. He will never leave you, nor forsake you. It must be so hard to go through this in a foreign land so far away from your loved ones. As you will see in days ahead, you are not alone. You are covered in prayer. I am confident that God will give you exactly what you need to get through the difficult days, months, years ahead. Although our circumstances were different, our third child, Josiah Thomas, had an early graduation to Glory just 2 hours after his birth. It was 14 years ago. Take your time and grieve and let your husband grieve. It will be different for each of you, but I pray that you will draw closer to each other and closer to our Saviour through this. Your precious son, Nathan, was created for a purpose and this heartache you are going through now is for a purpose. May you and your husband glorify the Lord each and every day. May your hearts and eyes be focused on the Lord. May you find joy and blessings through this heartache until you are reunited with your son, Nathan, in Heaven one glorious day. Our church family is praying for you and Stephen. Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.
Isaiah 26:3 KJV

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Chrissy link
8/27/2014 01:31:08 pm

I am so sorry. I live in Asia and I lost my baby at 3 months pregnancy. I know it is different than what you are going through, but I'm sorry. This is an unnatural pain to feel. No parent should have to feel it, but we do and God allows it. We don't know why. So hard. I am praying for you to find hope, love and peace in our Creator and the Lord will bless and keep you. I have been finding a little bit of hope in Psalm 27...that there might still be some goodness from God left for me in the land of the living. That there maybe could still be some good things to happen from God while I am alive and I can wait for the Lord and take heart. I want very much to trust Him again, but I don't want to feel this anymore. Praying for your continued rest and trust in the Lord and hoping that I can have that again as well.

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Connie Robertson
8/27/2014 01:52:40 pm

We know by experience that this has been a trying and difficult time for you and we want you to know we're holding you up in prayer here in Chile.

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Tim Rabon, Jr.
8/27/2014 02:30:29 pm

I've never met you and your husband, but know that my wife, Laura, and I are hurting for you and praying for you.

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Michael Steven
8/27/2014 03:41:35 pm

May God continue to grant you great peace and comfort in your lives! Praying for you!

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Marie-Ange Desrosiers
8/27/2014 06:45:17 pm

We prayed for you tonight at Gospel Light Baptist Church in Bathurst, NB, Canada

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Alexandra (Allgood) Walters
8/27/2014 07:23:12 pm

Your family is in our prayers! May He continue to be your comfort!

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the Camerons
8/27/2014 09:10:11 pm

Thru the years I have taken comfort in something the late Evag, Billy Kelly once said..."Everything's running on time, He's still got the reins in His Hands ...and He's never made a mistake..."
May God be ever so near to you at this time- you both are never very far from our thoughts ...with Love & Prayers...<3

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Bonnie Foster
8/27/2014 10:25:51 pm

Our hearts hurt with yours. We attend Grace Baptist Church in Urbana, Ohio, and our pastor told us of your son's home going last night. Our son, Joel, passed away unexpectedly in the night before he was scheduled for an induction because he was 5 days overdue. We have no idea what happened, but we know that the Lord covered us with His presence and grace....and still does these 4 years later. God has been more than good to us, and I know He's right there with you. Ron Hamilton's song "Thank you, Lord" has been my heart's cry. Psalm 94:19 has helped me so often: "In the multitude of my thoughts within me thy comforts delight my soul." May our great Comforter give you all you need. Love, Bonnie Foster

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Kevin & Missy Altizer link
8/27/2014 10:41:00 pm

Sweet Julie - your family at First Baptist Church in New Castle Virginia are praying for you and Stephen. Your letter was such a testimony of your faith in our Lord. May He bless you both with love, peace, joy and all things good! Much love and many, many prayers!

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JAYLA TUNNEY
8/27/2014 11:53:03 pm

Julie, I have been in much prayer for you and your precious family. I am so burdened for you. The one thing that keeps coming to my mind is that God counted you and your husband worthy to bare this horrific trial. He trusted you guys to trust Him and praise him and not forsake him. Great shall be your reward!

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Nelly
8/27/2014 11:54:33 pm

Dearest Julie, We are friends with your in-laws Pete and Isa. Upon hearing on your loss I was so heart sick. I can not imagine going through the loss of a child. I am a mother of two. They are grown now and on their own but, a mother's love no one can explain but another mother. I have been praying for you and thinking of you constantly. Thank you for the amazing courage and strength that you are showing in this difficult time. May our Lord show you his love and mercy. In my heart and in my prayers. Ms. Nelly Mappin

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Rachel Turner
8/28/2014 12:11:19 am

My Dear Julie,
What a testimony you exemplify in this blog. I prayed as I read this that God would use this in my life to help me to lean more on Him, not just through trials but through every part of my life. Many verses came to my mind as I considered what you were going through and I thought to myself we serve a GREAT God that gave us all these wonderful verses to cling through in time of trial and tribulation. May God continue to wrap His arms around you and Stephen. I have you on my prayer list and pray often for you throughout my day. Love you friend!

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Rhonda
8/28/2014 12:31:35 am

Though we don't know you personally, you are our sister and brother in Christ. We also know the area you are serving in as our daughter and son-in-law were there also as missionaries. So your story of faith and loss sinks deeply into our hearts. May the Lord continue His wonderful work of comfort, peace, and victory over the loss you are feeling. Little Nathan is so happy and will welcome you finally some day! Prayers for you as we walk through our days trusting in the One who is in control. Thank you for sharing your lives.

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Stephanie Rediger
8/28/2014 01:47:06 am

Stephen and Julie,
We want you all to know that Eastern Shore Baptist in Grasonville Md have been praying for you all. We kinda know some of what you are going thur, I had two miscarriages at 3 months and The Lord just took our son Joshua ( 22 yrs old ) and his friend Rob ( 23 yrs old) to Heaven on May 24, 2014. Psalms 61 :1, 2, Psalms 124 : 8, Isaiah 55 :8 - 9, I Peter 5 :7 have been a blessing to us, love and hugs:)

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Theresa
8/28/2014 02:09:44 am

Thank you for your testimony and faithfulness to our Lord. Thank you for glorifying him during this time. May God bless you and strengthen you and comfort you. No doubt you have encouraged others and we are thankful. You are in our prayers.

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Lily & Joseph Jo
8/28/2014 02:22:39 am

Stephen & Julie,

We weep and mourn with you; yet we also give thanks to our great Creator for His sustaining grace.
Praying for you both everyday.

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Pastor Moore link
8/28/2014 02:52:29 am

As I sit here wiping away the tears, I am reminded to be so thankful for the children (7) God has given my wife and I. But even more so, to be thankful for every day that He gives me with them and to use this time to point them to the Lord Jesus Christ, the giver and sustainer of life and to pray that God uses our lives for His glory. I am reminded that His grace is limitless and His love unceasing.

Thank you for sharing a beautiful, yet heart rending picture of that grace. May His name be glorified and may souls be won to the Saviour through the testimony of your precious son. For his testimony will live on as long as God gives you breath to proclaim His gospel.

Prayers and love in Christ.

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Kathy Kaufmann
8/28/2014 03:29:16 am

I'm a friend of Rick and Brenda Osborn's. He just shared your letter. I cannot tell you how my heart cries for you and your husband at this time of incredible grief. But I Know God will use this for His glory! Already the tremendous faith you have displayed is inspirational to others going through struggles. Thank you for sharing and demonstrating to others what true Faith really looks like. You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

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Lou Ann Keiser link
8/28/2014 03:39:55 am

We are praying for you.

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Daniel and Shannon Hill
8/28/2014 03:57:05 am

Stephen and Julie, we have been praying for you since we heard the news. We have cried for you. We have mourned for you. Most of all, we have lifted you up to the Lord! Julie, thank you for your amazing testimony. It encouraged our hearts. We will continue to pray for you.

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Pastor Troy Calvert, Fairfax Baptist Temple link
8/28/2014 04:45:53 am

Thank you for being a wonderful example of God's sustaining grace. May you sense His ever-loving arms firmly around you. Our church family is continuing to lift you before our heavenly Father's throne.

A verse of particular comfort to me has always been, "Be thou my strong habitation, whereunto I may continually resort: thou hast given commandment to save me; for thou art my rock and my fortress." Psalm 71:3.

This coming Sunday I am preaching from the passage you quote in First Peter and with your permission I would like to read some of your thoughts to our church family.

May the Lord continue to strengthen and guide you. We're glad to have you as part of our FBT missionary family.

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Julie Knickerbocker
8/29/2014 06:52:41 am

Thank you for your encouragement. We would be honored for your to share any part of this letter with FBT.

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Sandra Hill
8/28/2014 05:04:25 am

I am so amazed how God has given you such wisdom in your time of sorrow. We had a baby girl 42 years ago with some of the same things happening. I got angry with God and now I am so ashamed for feeling that way.. Now God has helped me so much! The old song comes to mind now " I got more to go to heaven for than I did yesterday". Love and prayers.

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Melissa
8/28/2014 06:31:19 am

My friend Noelle just started an organization for Mothers who have just lost their children - https://www.facebook.com/thefinleyproject - please contact her if you need anything. I'm so sorry for your loss.

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Daniel and Christy Dent
8/28/2014 09:29:16 am

We are praying for you. God's grace is enough. He will help.
Ps. 121:1-2

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Kim Correll-Comeau
8/28/2014 09:34:34 am

I do not know you, but I share in your grief as a Sister in Christ. I did not have the same experience as you with a new born, but 7 months ago found my handicapped daughter's body "resting" as her soul was already in heaven. I know the grief, but also know our Father's grace, love, comfort and amazing peace that He only can give. We do not grieve as those who do not have hope. I will be praying for you and your family as you walk this journey.

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Gary Tingen, Gen Dir link
8/28/2014 10:00:02 am

You don't know us but it doesn't matter. We are praying for you during this time. Thank you for encouraging me. God is GOOD.

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Sherri Mitchell
8/28/2014 11:59:45 am

Our daughter & her precious husband lost their baby in almost the same circumstances five years ago. He never took his first breath. He was so perfect on the outside. Your letter addressed every emotion they faced, and being a grandmother, made my heart break for them. The Lord sustained them & gave them grace thru it all. The "Lord has since blessed them with a sweet little girl. So thankful for His loving kindness! Our prayers are with you at this time.

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Great Grandma Carol link
8/28/2014 12:04:19 pm

We love you and prayed for you in church last night during Prayer Meeting at Heritage Bapt Ch in Arcadia, FL.
Your letter was beautiful that I just read...God's best!

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Teresa Elad
8/28/2014 12:31:50 pm

Im so sorry to hear of your loss, but thankful that God has given you peace. I cannot imagine how you must be feeling, but I do know how wonderful it feels when your heart is broken and it just seems like God wraps his arms around you and eases some of the hurt. I have been praying for you both since I saw Bro. Pete's post on facebook. May the Lord continue to comfort you both and bless you as you do His work.

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Steven and Connie Cousins
8/28/2014 04:51:09 pm

Hi sweetie my name is Connie and I am a Norris Graduate. That was a beautiful letter. My husband and I lost our twin sons our first pregnancy at about 20 weeks. I remember the pain and the grieving. So much pain. In the hospital I kept praying to The Lord just a simple little prayer because I was overwhelmed and could not say much, but over and over I said "I love you Jesus". In the post pardom room the day before I was released early in the morn I was sleepy and on pain meds, but I had a beautiful nurse I had not seen before come in my room, take my hand, and she said "Jesus love you." I said "I love Him Very much". She said " Jesus loves you, he will give you more babies and many blessings for your faith." I never saw her again. But I'll never forget it. The weeks after I found there would be days that were too much to bare. I want you let you know that it is ok to tell your Lord how you feel. One day I got on my knees and cried out "Lord I'm angry and hurt!, and I can't take the pain today help me! And guess what, the phone would ring and it would be my mother or my friend or my husband to help. It is ok to tell God you are hurting. I was afraid for awhile but one day I couldn't help it and I fell on my knees and prayed and cried and told him I was hurting badly. He was always there and he always helped me. Cling to your husband. Let it grow you closer together not further apart, comfort eachother. God Bless you so much! Feel free to email me. I am 35 I go to Victory Baptist Church 😊

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Benjamin and Jessica Griggs
8/28/2014 09:49:03 pm

Stephen/Julie, when we heard about this tragic loss, we immediately knelt down to pray for the strength you would need in the days ahead. Although it has been some time since crown College when we last saw you, we still remember you. May God use this to work miracles where you are. All things work together for good, to them who love God, to them who are the called according to His service... Many prayers for you all the way from Louisiana. May God richly bless your ministry in Burkina Faso.

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Kristin Spaulding
8/28/2014 11:10:59 pm

My prayers and thoughts are with you. Thank you for your beautiful testimony of faith and trust in our Lord. In your great trial you have been an encouragement to me. I will continue to pray for you in the days ahead.

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Esther FRERE
8/28/2014 11:27:42 pm

Dear Stephen and Julie, we are very sad for your loss. We are thankfull that our Lord puts His healing hand on your crying heats. And even thought the healing road might be long we pray that one day you will be able to hold many children of your own in your arms.
May the Lord bless you both.
We send you our love. Adrien, Esther, Emilie, Evangéline, Eléna and Eglantine.

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Jill Rodrigues link
8/29/2014 02:10:26 am

Dear Knickerbocker Family, Our hearts just ACHE for your loss! We cannot imagine the grief and heartache you must be feeling right now. May God give you a peace that passeth all understanding at this time. Although we have never met you, we got your link through some mutual friends. We are the Rodrigues Family (www.rodriguesfamilyministries.com) and although we do NOT know fully how it would be to lose a baby after it was born.........we have suffered through 5 severe miscarriages. Even that was very hard on us............so, our hearts go out to you folks! We are so thankful for the 11 children on this earth that God has abundantly blessed us with though. Your words of faith and trust during this hard time are a TREMENDOUS inspiration! You will be abundantly blessed for your good attitudes............even during a hard, confusing time. May God abundantly bless you in the future and we send our Christian Love!! With MUCH Care, The Rodrigues Family (Jill)

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Pastor and Mrs Tim Perry link
8/29/2014 03:07:18 am

Words seem so empty at times such as this. We know that nothing we say can diminish the pain and sorrow that you are going through at this difficult time. We pray that The God of all Comfort will give you the grace and strength that is needed for the days ahead and that He will surround you with His presence. Our church, Calvary Baptist Temple in East Bernstadt, KY is praying for you.

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Teresa
8/29/2014 08:48:57 am

May God keep you close to Him during this time. May you feel the prayers of God's people and God's grace surround you. We are praying for you at Heritage Baptist Church in Concord NC.

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Tiffani Dumpert
8/29/2014 02:24:59 pm

Your family is in my prayers. What an encouragement it is to know that your love for the Lord has only increased all the more since the tragedy. Please know you are loved and thought of and prayed for much! God be with you there as you serve Him in truth and love.

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Amanda, NE Georgia
8/29/2014 06:11:22 pm

I've been praying for you and will continue. Praise the Lord that He gives "Peace in the Midst of the Storm" and our enemy will know we will not be lost at sea. We've lost four babies ourselves, so we hurt with you, but God is Always Good. Our children are at Jesus' feet worshipping Him. We cannot be with them yet, but we can be close to the ONE they are close to. Thank you for your testimony. You are loved and uplifted continually.

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Jill Kibler
8/31/2014 06:50:26 am

Dear Julie & Stephen-
Praying for you both and for your ministry to the precious people of Burkina Faso. Praying for the comfort that only the Lord can bring to you at this time of loss. Thank you for your testimony of God's faithfulness in the face of such sorrow.

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Nadege and Joshua Thomas
8/31/2014 02:13:16 pm

Dear Julie and Stephen, we don't know you personaly, but only through Stephen's dad that we met while we lived in France. There are no words strong enough to comfort you, but we have and still pray God to comfort you and give you strength and peace. Remember that this is not a goodbye, only a "see you soon". We will keep on praying for you and for your minitry in West Africa, may God bless you abundantly and that you touch and save many souls. Sending our love xoxo Nadege & Joshua Thomas

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Luke and Jamie K
8/31/2014 07:22:30 pm

Stephen and Julie,
We have been praying for you. We knew in the midst of such difficulty, you would retain your integrity and be a sterling example of the believer. May the God of all comfort stablish, strengthen, and settle you. We love you!

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Nicole Flory
9/1/2014 12:47:28 am

Steven & Julie,
My heart is breaking and rejoicing at the same time. My family too knows the pain you are experiencing. My sister and her husband lost 3 babies. They now have a special needs child who is eight years old and a daughter who does not have special needs who is 4 years old. As you stated in your letter, you are never prepared and it hurts immensely! But God!!! He does give comfort and grace that is above and beyond our comprehension. He is good. I have never personally experienced loosing a baby, so I can't say I know exactly what you and your husband are going through, but I do know the sadness we all experienced with my sister and her husband in the lose of my sweet nieces and nephews. I am praying for you both at this time and that this trial in your lives may be used to comfort another who may not have the same hope we have, Jesus Christ, that God would get the glory! It helps me and strengthea my faith to read your lether and see such trust and reliance on our most HOLY God even in you trials. Thank you! I had a dear friend of mine lost her 18 month old daughter to spinal meningitis in 8 hours. I remember her saying to me, "God gives that peace that passes all understanding. She is where I want to be and I rejoice knowing I will see her again!" I though Wow! What peace and strength God gives. Several years later I was hospitalized with the same thing that took my friend'said little girl'so life. I spent 2 weeks in the hospital and a month at my mom's house with a pic line going into my heart. I then knew and experienced that peace and strength my friend was trying to explain to me. Praise God even in our trials!!He is faithful!

Sincerely,
Nicole Flory
Lakewood Baptist Church
Harrison, TN

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Nicole f
9/1/2014 12:54:39 am

So sorry about all the typos. I sent the message from my phone and couldn't really proof read it. Hope it makes sense enough to read. :)

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Sandra Campbell
9/1/2014 01:52:17 am

We love you and are praying for you during this time. We have been praying for you at Old Suwanee Baptist Church. Your testimony of faith is encouraging; may the Lord comfort you in the days ahead. Isaiah 26:3,4 "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee, because he trusteth in thee. Trust ye in the Lord forever, for in the Lord Jehovah is everlasting strength."

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Shirley Greene
9/1/2014 08:09:59 am

We are so sorry for your loss. We speak of you two often at our liitle church in Bulls Gap, TN. You are in our prayers.

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shirley frederick
9/2/2014 11:00:57 am

Your letter is beautiful and really touched my heart. We had a similar situation . 45 years ago we had a a baby boy and God took him home just before he was born. But God's grace was so good and His comfort so real. We are praying for you.

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Julie Kennedy
9/5/2014 12:54:46 am

Dear Brother Stephen and Sister Julie, Both your August News Letter and Julie's letter from the Heart reached the congregation of Trinity Baptist Church in Bradenton, FL on Wednesday, 9/3. Pastor Steven Myer read both letters and we prayed for you both. I was so touched by your loss as well as your faith, encouragement and love of God. I am terribly sorry for the loss of Nathan and will continue to pray for you both as you continue your Mission. Please know that you are thought of and loved in hearts of many. Looking forward to hearing how many souls are saved during your journey for the Lord. May peace and comfort always be with you. Kind regards, Sister Julie Kennedy.

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Judi Dunbar/Gateway Baptist, Md. link
9/13/2014 03:55:57 am

So glad we know the end of The Story and you will hold that precious boy again.
Good Bless You Both.

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Cindy Justice
10/16/2014 01:09:41 pm

Thank you for sharing your story. I am amazed by your strength to share your story so soon after your son was born. Our baby girl Emily went to heaven 3 weeks ago when she was born and I too know what it is like to unexpectedly have to bury your child that was with you for such a short time. Know that my husband I will be praying for you from our home in WV. A friend of mine in CT led me to your blog and your story haa encouraged me more than you'll ever know.

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Robert and Jamie Gilbert
3/5/2017 12:27:53 pm

We have a Heaven-born son named Nathaniel. God took him to be with Him around my 20th week of carrying him in March 2016. What you said above about God's goodness and faithfulness we have found to be true as well. We are looking forward to our reunion someday with our son, and we know you are as well. Thank you.

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